The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: 8th Page Tips on How to Stay Warm

Sneak into your house counselor’s bed
Start a fire in your dorm
Give yourself hypothermia (the first symptom is a warm feeling)
Make a fort with your house counselors’ feral children
See if that sealed fireplace in your room still works
Take a quick trip to your island
Get a mans
Group Showers
Penguin huddle naked (share body heat)