The Eighth Page

Phillipan Satire: Week’s Top Headlines

Yorkies Snubbed at Grammys, Blame the Recording Academy’s Political Agenda
Sigma Gym Bro Wears Shorts in -30 Degree Weather, Loses Legs but Maintains Ego
Seniors Begin Practicing Doing Nothing in Preparation for Senior Spring
Deans Clarify Gap2 Not an Excuse to Sell Meth to Andover High Students
Boys Hockey Wins Game
Inspired by China, Exeter Releases Their Own “Weather Balloon”