The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Week’s Top Headlines

Ben Shapiro Walked So Kahlil Greene Could Run

Dyslexic Student Finishes War and Peace During All-School Meeting Q&A

Disappointed Student Realizes Oral History Is More History and Less Oral

ASM Speaker Dealt Opiates and Miraculously Never Gets Incarcerated

New Email Double-Authentication Requires Students to Have a Passport, Social Security, and a Letter From a Senator

Ocean Conservation Club Breaks Attendance Record at First Meeting

Prince Harry’s Autobiography Resonates With Student Who Also Felt Pressured Into Dressing as Nazi Last Halloween

Release Of Avatar 2 Prompts New Options For Sexual Orientation In SOTA

Unique Behavior Of Class Of 2025 Can Be Explained With Two Words: Test-Optional

With Unprecedented Levels Of Substance Abuse On Campus, AA’s Twelve Step Program Is Set To Replace EBI Curriculum.