The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Overheard on The Paths

“Is it a bad sign that my college counselor just laughed when he saw my transcript?”
“I’ve always thought of ‘do not eat’ labels as more of a suggestion than a rule”
“She copied my 2022 photo dump on Instagram.”
“Hey, is that guy writing down our conversation?”
“Everyone here is such a bot.”
“I got the green airpod pro maxes for Christmas because they are so much more original.”
“Is he faking it?”
“I’m tryna lose my virginity like Prince Harry did”
“The rockies are good, but I like the vibe of the alps more”
“Pouring out a glass of sparkling water for the Top G”
“I have a squash injury… JV2…”