The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: What House Counselors Do While Students Are on Break

Dec 15, 2022

What House Counselors Do When the Dorms Are Empty:

DIY their own assortment of pickles
Figure out new inventive ways to barge into student rooms
Look for any left-behind weed… to dispose of
Water the mold
Hide from their spouse in students’ rooms
Test out every single toilet
Allow thieves into students’ rooms
Check out the level of comfort of each student’s mattress foams
Adderall for a Christmas decorating boost
Borrow some lube from students’ top desk drawers
Face-to-face with the drain flies in the bathrooms
Loud sex
Increase lead tolerance by taking shots of “filtered” water
Imagine what it would be like to live in a larger house