The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Uses for the Pan Center

Play Marco Polo in the pool
Sit mysteriously in a corner table waiting for the love of your life to meet you
Drink something fizzy and yeasty in the hot tub
Gaze at the skinny boys in unitards brawling
World’s largest toilet
Slip ‘N’ Slide
Almost enough showers for a polo team
Space for modern dance (a.k.a. T-posing and disturbing contortions)
Trapping competitors in its labyrinthine halls
Money laundering
Honoring the generous donations of Peter Pan ’53
An excuse to text your sneaky link
An outlet for your ingratitude
An upgrade for your goldfish (maybe the bigger tank would make it stop floating upside down)
A shiny reason to #sayyestoandover