What The Exonian Does on Our Weeks Off (Going biweekly isn’t soft…)
Read the 8th page
Repeatedly refresh the niche.com page hoping we’ll be at the top
Plan how we can make exonian.net even uglier
Read old legal documents to keep our dry, humorless writing skills sharp
Hang out with all of our friends, who totally exist! (they just go to a different school and don’t believe in Instagram.)
Finish our homework, and for our break, do our English homework for fun!
Contemplate all the life decisions that led us to be in such an underwhelming student organization. Maybe try to get into debate again…
Make study playlists that consist only of underground Austrian goat music
Spend hours practicing our witty A/E comebacks in the mirror
Blame race as the “only” reason we got rejected from Andover
Sketch models for prisons
Watch “How to Kiss” YouTube videos
Adhere to our mission statement: “The first role of the paper is to chronicle Exeter’s history” –– a biweekly history…
