The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: The Exonian Masthead

Editor in Chief: Liz Truss
CFO: Jim Cramer and Leon Black
Social media: Andrew Tate
Global affairs: Putin and Hunter Biden
News editor: Xi Jinping
Sports editor: Henry Ruggs III
Humor editor: Louis CK
Arts editor: Caricaturist in Times Square
Productivity: Pablo Escobar
Community outreach: Dr. Kington
Corporate sponsor: Gazprom & Tyson Foods
Religious council: Ye
Fitness: Liver King
Child support: Herschel Walker
Website design: Your uncle with a food blog
Sustainability: Van Gogh’s Soup-throwers
Commentary Editor: Ben Shapiro
Cybersecurity: Wisconsin Women’s Volleyball
Self-defense: Paul Pelosi
Film Critic: Kyrie Irving
Fact-checking: Marjorie Taylor Greene