The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Overheard on The Paths

“Why didn’t they approve my Abbot Grant for exotic dancers at the Den? So much for empowerment.”

“Apparently, not tipping your Doordashers is not an acceptable ‘trick’ on Halloween.”

“What is the age of consent in Massachusetts again?”

“My roommate just came out as a furry… the week after I dressed as a panda for Halloween.”

“Even cheating wouldn’t help my grade at this point…”

“Given the opportunity, I wouldn’t save like 95% of the school from a fire.”

“Dr. Patel was like, ‘Oh, nah. He can’t hang.’”

“Sigma notation? I’ll be good at this.”

“You see how he treats his roommate? I can’t imagine this kid with a wife.”