The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: MAD LIBS – Create your own Friday Memo

Dear ____ (plural noun that describes low intellect), (copy to ____ (adjective describing underpaid and non-unionized labor) members of the community),

Happy Friday! I hope you’ve had a good week! This week’s memo is a hodgepodge of items from around ____ (sites of recent nuclear spills). Please read to the end.

___ (first person singular pronoun) am struggling with a shared understanding of what respect for ____ (synonym to students’ time) and ____ (synonym to free will) looks like in action at ASM. Typically, the ____ (person who mentions their educational pedigree too much) shares their thought-provoking ____ (a misleading infographic), and students ask ____ (synonym of endless) questions about their ____ (unformed political philosophy) afterward. And when ____ (late communist dictator) goes to the microphone, people stand and start exiting the chapel before they make their remarks. From now on, we will remain in our seats and give speakers our full attention until we hear the words, “______! (tyrant rhetoric)

____ (seasonal beverage) season is upon us. Please note that all ____ (livestock that travel in flocks protected by shepherds) will need their second ____ (big tech CEO) booster by January 4 (unless they receive a medical or ____ (synonym of phony) exemption from Sykes). If you haven’t yet gotten your ____ (government engineered technology), Sykes can provide one. Get them while they last!

Make Good Decisions
I couldn’t help but ____ (synonym of diligently take note) of [best section of the Phillipian] “The Week’s Top Headlines,” which included, “____ (hilarious joke)” I recognize that it’s ____ (synonym of hilarious and intellectual), and I ____ (synonym of hope) that it ____ (synonym of challenges) the experience of ____ (those in positions of power) this weekend.

Wishing you a wonderful week,

____ (proper noun)
____ (three letters that took seven years to get)