The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Overheard on The Paths

“I pay more attention in Chemistry 580 than I do during ASM, and that’s saying something.”

“Is it incestuous that my parents and my sneaky link’s parents used to date?”

“After the long-weekend, it looks like every boy enlisted.”

“I got into Harvard, but I’m still on the Sykes waiting list.”

“The red fall trees are so communist core.”

“Could I get my essay back the ocky way?”

“I’m just saying I’d rather get caught watching porn in class than live in the Knoll.”

“I’ll only donate if it’s tax deductible.”

“Why not celebrate white people’s achievements?”

“Go Yankees–AHHHHH!”

“Boys, we mobbin’ Sykes or what?”

“God, I LOVE family weekend.”