The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Midterm Comments

P: I’m still getting a hang of the names and am unable to give specific feedback at this time. That said, either keep up the good work or stop sitting next to people of the same race.
P: You are the best student in French 300! (*remember to copy and paste)

LP: Your essays have less passion than my sex life, which is saying something. Do better.
LP: You are passing, but I’m disappointed in your many missing assignments. With 24 hours in the day, I’m sure you can squeeze in six hours of CHM580.

NYP: In my book, wearing a sombrero and ordering Taco Bell does not count as class participation. I would tell Jimmy to drop, but it doesn’t get much lower than Spanish 100.
NYP: I would fail you, but our school is too soft for that to even be an option.

LP: It is a pleasure having you in P.E. Hopefully you manage your bowel movements on the rope swing a bit better this time.
P: [adjective] job so far, [insert student name]. Let’s [keep this up / continue to improve].