The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Week’s Top Headlines

“It’s all we have left of him:” $2000 Reward Given To a Student With a Baggie of Orange Fur

Too Bad for the 8th Page, the Biggest Joke of the Week is on Friday from 11:20 a.m. to 12:05 p.m.

New Student Confuses Blue Book for Bucket List

Hockey Star Discovers Passion During A.M. Spin, Drops Out to Become SoulCycle Instructor

Using Core Blue Pamphlet As a Coaster is Now a Level Three Offense

Saturday, 9 to 11 p.m.: Bingo Night in the Den (Costco Prizes!)

Andover Teachers Start Turning Down Requests to Write Recommendations for Deerfield Transfer Applications

The New Sexy: Teachers Who Grant Extensions