“Actually I can’t go to the library. I’m working on my mystique.”
“I’m a waste of my legacy.”
“I feel like I should carry a tip jar when I walk up Morse stairs in a short skirt.”
“There aren’t any lakes in the Hamptons; I would know.”
“The walls are so thin I know my house counselors’ safety words.”
“I wrote my identity paper on the cultural importance of my mullet.”