The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Overheard on The Paths

“I view my dad as just a sperm donor.”
“Yo, you think the Academy would rock with getting Andrew Tate as an ASM speaker?”
“Senior Fall is such a cock block”
“I was going to get with him, but then I found out he got in off the waitlist”
“Dr. RayK reminds me of my father—we don’t know where he is.”
“I’m gonna get with soooo many girls because of how big…my speaker is.”
“There are two types of freshman boys: the ones who have seen The Wolf of Wall Street, and the ones who haven’t.”