The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Andover Slang

House Counselor = CIA interrogator

Pine Knoll = Undeveloped Minecraft Biome

Sanctuary Stroll = Where Celibacy Goes to Die (for the squirrels, of course)

Weekly ASM = Mass Indoctrination to Commu—Non Sibi Spirit
PA Football Game = An Acceptable Show of Men Touching Each Other in Tights
Den Bathroom = Hookah Bar

EBI Senior = Sheeple Disciple

Basement of the Library = iPad Kid Affinity Group Headquarters

CORE BLUE = Restorative Highs