The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Mother’s Day Gift Guide

May 5, 2022

Statue of a Tiger (better than a self-portrait)
A Grandkid (you can thank SCOTUS!)
A Tiny Massage Gun (because dad isn’t very good)
An Apology
Coupon for Couples Therapy
Peloton Subscription
“This Oppresses Me” Fridge Magnet
Your Favorite Laundry Detergent
IUD (siblings are annoying)
“Oedipus Rex” by Sophocles
Gwyneth Paltrow Jade Egg
LinkedIn Account (she said she wants to get back out there)
Feather-duster (for a fun activity when the cleaning ladies are late)