The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Week’s Top Headlines

“Upper Spring Isn’t All That Hard,” Says ’23 with Erectile Dysfunction

Ivy-League Accepted Senior Actually Trying In History 300 Is Like Jeff Bezos Getting Stimulus Checks

Spot the Difference: Hungover Senior or Teaching Fellow Post Faculty Superspreader Event Part II

Oblivious Seniors Think Putting Their College in Their Insta Bios Will Distract Us From Their Sad Follower Ratio

Senior Responds to No One: “I’ll actually be in New Haven, Connecticut this weekend.”

Posting Bikini Photos Proven Best Way to Show Appreciation on Earth Day, Also Great For Mitigating Climate Change

Senior Takes Online Shopping as Sixth Course

Elon Musk Sells Twitter After Discovering @phillipsacademy’s Advertisement of Prep School Elitism Disguised as Civic Engagement