The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Overheard on The Paths

“It’s nice to see that my teachers put as much effort into my midterm comments as I put into their assignments.”

“Does the ‘F’ on my midterm report stand for ‘fantastic?’”

“Have I ever told you the definition of insanity? It’s doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different—hang on, the new Covid guidelines just dropped.”

“Bro, we should get Dr. RayK on the Joe Rogan Podcast.”

“I don’t trust The Phillipian. They sell our SOTA results to big data.”

“Of course Hale’s winning the Green Cup Challenge. Do they even have electricity?”

“Lefties are the most oppressed group in America… and they deserve it.”

“I wish Elon could buy Andover and reinstate free speech here.”

“I don’t know what’s worse: Andover Night Live being cancelled or my entire family being murdered.”