The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Overheard on [a Parent’s] Path

“Why isn’t there a money back guarantee if my child doesn’t get into an Ivy League?”

“Join our Facebook group to plan the next Capitol Riot”

“They really need to decrease the workload, those chemistry problem sets are really difficult! It took me a while to do it—I mean to observe my son.”

“All of my son’s friends are following me on instagram…should I be concerned?”

“Honey, what does DILF stand for and why is everyone calling your father one.”

“Don’t tease your father, he just saw the statue outside Stimson and is jealous”