The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Overheard on The Paths

I swear the Gelb birds have more meat on their bones than the Commons ribs.

My roommate keeps spraying Febreze everywhere. Must’ve been a skunk outside.

What’s a black bag? Is that like green boxes?

Are you ready for thigh guy summer???

We’re like MGK and Megan Fox

Yeah, I got on varsity lacrosse. I play the program every year when I decide to go JV!

I love classic rock! Have you heard ‘Hey there Delilah?’

Oh, don’t worry about your career. Just write a book about knowing me and you’ll be set.

This Friday, let’s drink a ton of Red Bull and take a ton of melatonin and see which wins.