I swear the Gelb birds have more meat on their bones than the Commons ribs.
My roommate keeps spraying Febreze everywhere. Must’ve been a skunk outside.
What’s a black bag? Is that like green boxes?
Are you ready for thigh guy summer???
We’re like MGK and Megan Fox
Yeah, I got on varsity lacrosse. I play the program every year when I decide to go JV!
I love classic rock! Have you heard ‘Hey there Delilah?’
Oh, don’t worry about your career. Just write a book about knowing me and you’ll be set.
This Friday, let’s drink a ton of Red Bull and take a ton of melatonin and see which wins.
Subscribe to The Phillipian Newsletter!
Read the week’s top stories from The Phillipian, curated for your inbox. Subscribe here!