The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Overheard on The Paths

“Like I said, if your girl’s in a breakout room alone with me, she’s not your girl anymore.”

“The reason I had to stay home was because my friend’s brother’s coach’s uncle tested positive, and I’m just really committed to keeping the school environment safe.” 

“He’ll probably stop asking me to ‘explore’ Elson with him if I say that my roommate has Omicron right?” 

“My green boxes are turning into self-sustaining organisms.”

“Trust me bro, this crypto literally can’t fail.”

“These rapid tests are so easy to fake, all you have to do is….”

“I’m so happy I’m out of quarantine, I couldn’t find any time to – well- you know…”