The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Overheard on The Paths

“How do I tell my parents that my 3.9 isn’t on the four-point scale?”

The only reason I take chemistry is for my future in the cartel.”

“Okay so bribing Mr. Shows didn’t work… Can I just hack his computer? I can’t be stuck with this biology teacher for the entire winter.” 

“I can’t believe I have to go home again to the beach house in Jupiter. Why can’t I have a fun vacation like other kids?” 

“Bro, there’s absolutely no way we have to run a whole mile in practice.”

“Like I said, if I’m making eye contact with her on the paths, she’s not your girl anymore.”

“Am I good at basketball? Who else can drop 12 points a game in Cluster?”

“Shit, I grabbed the wrong Canada Goose in Commons.”