Phillipian Satire: Overheard Around the Harkness Table

“Shut UP! You’ve already spoken like three times, give me a turn.”
“I can’t believe my teacher gives participation points to the racist in my class.”
“The round table gives me an awful view of all the uggos in math class.”
“No, I have time to brush my teeth, I just don’t want to.”
“When is Andover’s application deadline again?”
“So we have to go to classes on Saturday and watch our football team lose for the eighth year in a row??”
“There is no way that my house counselor is actually making us go outside this weekend.”
“So my parents are paying $60k for me to sit in class where kids who didn’t do the reading talk like they’re Ph.D candidates or some hot stuff?”
“We can’t come up with anything better than smurfs? Damn it, we’ve got nothing on Andover.”

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