The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Week’s Top Headlines

PAPS Officer Deemed Hero After Shining Flashlight On Group of Students to Help Find Their Lost Alcohol

“They’ve Really Lost it, Haven’t They” Say Ex-Readers About The Eighth Page’s Recent Resort to Cheap Gimmicks 

Major Backfire: With Less Work, Seniors Forced to Sleep, Resulting Horrible Nightmares Visits From the Common App Monster