The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Week’s Top Headlines

Dead Squirrel Found Crucified on Great Lawn, Judas Squirrel Runs Free


RayK Makes Student Lunch Group Wear Pink on Wednesdays


“Know Your Place” Added to Freshmen EBI Curriculum


100% of White Students Feel Comfortable Walking Into CaMD… During AWARE Meetings


Freshman Who Drink Coffee Significantly More Dangerous than Pack of Wild Hyenas with Covid-19, New Study Shows


Teaching Fellow Lives Out His Dream of High School Popularity… at 25


Commons Donates Leftover Greenboxes to Covid-19 Historical Archives