“I asked him what ‘Avogadro’s Number’ was and he replied ‘I think we should break up.’ WTF”
“Do you need an actual reason to ask for an extension? I usually just lie.”
“I know I should feel bad that class is cancelled because of a teacher’s personal crisis, but I just don’t.”
“Tonight I’m going to ask my advisor if we can start a mushroom farm on the shower curtains.”
“My history class was cancelled today! Like DaBaby! LETS GOOO.”
“Mom! If Peepaw was alive he would want me to use his death as a cheap excuse to go home.”
“Damn, the admissions office really tricked some more kids into coming here.”
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