The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Weeks Top Headlines

RayK Drops Cup in Commons, Receives Loudest Applause Since Arriving at Andover

iPad Craze on Campus Begs the Question “Are We All Twelve Again?”

Eighth Page Reports: CVS Self Check Out Camera Selfies Are Still Cool, Not Lame

Day Student World Tour Gone Unnoticed by Deans, While Boarders Force Their Parents to Remarry to See Pet Cat

Toddlers and Trucks Convention Goes Through Andover, Freshmen Boys Get Swept into the Night

As Tents and Green Boxes Go Out Of Style, So Does the Mess, Administration Is Forced to Find Other Things to Email About

“What is Love Anyway?” Says Freshman to Girlfriend of One Week

Opportunistic Andover Business Club Charges for Bathroom Breaks