The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Week’s Top Headlines

Senior Who Signed “Ligma Balls” On The Bell Tower Facing Expulsion

The Stupid Groundhog Saw its Stupid Shadow, Now Its Cold

Students Report Seeing Couples They Had No Clue Existed, On Valentine’s Day Morning

Teacher Thought Student Had Left Their Class Until They Began Participating This Week

Sunscreen Selling Faster Than Hand Sanitizer As People Don’t Care About Covid Anymore