The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Overheard On Valentines Day

I’m sorry baby, I didn’t know that was your twin. 

I thought girlfriends hated gifts on Valentine’s Day?! 

My first choice ring was really big, but you’ve got to understand, the PS5 restocked!!

Don’t worry honey, this power saw will be a lot more useful than chocolates. 

No, the card says, “Tested negative for Covid-19, positive for love.” It’s supposed to be sweet. 

If you don’t propose tomorrow, I’m bagging your dad. 

Cardboard cutouts are better than girlfriends anyway.