The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Overheard on Thanksgiving

“I won’t be lectured about election fraud by a Burger King fry cook, JERRY!”

“Does Gam-Gam usually put mayo on the cranberry sauce?”

“I’m in a happy relationship with my girlfriend, Aunt Linda! Patric is just my roommate. Yes, we share a bed.”

“Grandpa used his special dry rub on the turkey this year: Grandma.”

“Dad, you do know that Thanksgiving is a capitalist scheme and you are playing right into Jeff Be-” “Yes honey, we know. You give the same toast every year.”

“Hey Joe, the dishes aren’t virtual!”

“Can someone mute Aunt Judith? Looks like she found the liquor cabinet.”

“Google made this look so easy in their ads.”

“Make sure to disable attendee screen sharing, can’t have the step siblings see what Johnny has been looking up.”