The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: The Week’s Top Headlines

Techmasters Break Ground on Andover Dating App: “(No More) Big Blue Balls”

Halloween Cancelled In Response to Uprising of Ghosts in Stimson

New Study Shows People Flirting With PGs Even Stupider Than PGs Themselves

Phillipian Investigative Reveals Amazon Box Is Only “Large Package” in Bishop

Student Superiority Complexes Peak As Andover Reclaims Top Spot on Niche’s List of Best Private Schools

Thousands of Blue Bucks Exchanged in Bets Over When Gelb Tent’s Leaning Tower of Food Containers Will Finally Topple