The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Each Campus Tent as a Netflix Show

Gelb – “Schitt’s Creek”: It’s the go-to, everybody loves it, but there are always a few questionable characters in there.

Quads – “New Girl”: Oh, you think you’re so QUIRKY. Going to the second most popular tent. Screw you.

Bartlet – “Big Mouth”: So many Freshmen, so many hormone monsters. This tent reeks of puberty.

Graves – “Criminal Minds”: Anyone who goes here is guilty of something. Whether it be having no friends or actual murder, there’s something wrong with you. 

Knoll – “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”: Everyone in here is trying to convince themselves life is better than it is. I mean, you live in the Knoll. Can you really say things are alright?