The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: The Week’s Top Headlines

Monday Covid-19 Testing Classified as “Super Spreader” Event

“EasyBib’ll Do” Says Defeated Senior Locked Out of NoodleTools

Abstinence Named Most-Widely Used and Official Contraceptive of The Phillipian

Squirrels in Quad Dumpster Have More Food Options than Cohort 2

Mr. Perry Reportedly Feels Alone, Adrift Without Students to Quiet Down

Life Right Now Feels Like Beginning of Horror Sequel

Survey Says Construction Alert Email Was Oddly Comforting