As I rapidly tried to remove the smell of ammonia from my dorm room, the rapid knocking from my house counselor signaled that my time was running out. I surveyed the room, looking at the things I still had to cram into my suitcase: my sheets, unwashed since Family Weekend, some socks from the Stone Age (literally and figuratively), and Phillips-San, my life-size anime body pillow. Phillips-San had been safely stashed underneath my bed for most of the school year after I thought it would be a good idea to introduce it to the dorm during the first week of school. Now, the question was what to do with it now. After a long year of, how best to put this, service (a man gets lonely during the winter months), there was too much, um, evidence tying me to Phillips-San now. Disposal was not an option. Like the out-of-the-box Andover student I am, I made the difficult decision to burn Phillips-San. Pulling out my flint and steel (besides anime I also love Minecraft, believe it or not!) I pretended that Phillips-San was a woman doing math in the 1600s. Unfortunately, the ever-sensitive Bartlet Hal fire alarms stopped me as soon as a spark ignited. Water gushed from the ceiling, washing my sheets for the first time in months and giving me a much-needed shower. As for Phillips-San, there was nothing I could do. I grabbed my soaked things and left, but not before stuffing the charred remains of Phillips-San under the bed, which will surely traumatize a 12-year-old at Andover Summer.
