So far this year, I have seen only two movies that have struck me as simply dumb. I’m talking about the rare cinematic spectacles that capture the hearts and minds of the American public with IQ’s below 25. These are the same people that watch televised deer hunting, NASCAR and Bill O’Reilly. Such movies cause us to lose brain cells by the thousands. Of course, the two movies I am referring to are “Norbit” and “Wild Hogs.” “Norbit” includes an angry Eddie Murphy in fat lady drag breaking countless objects, the formula for success when your target demographic is a group of nine-year-olds. Yes, I found it funny. “Wild Hogs” is a blatantly unfunny and clichéd comedy sensation sweeping the nation, and it is the clear favorite among stupid films. Directed by the man behind “Van Wilder,” the movie features four good ol’ middle-aged chums from the Midwest who are fed up with their lives that are filled with strife and suffering. Tim Allen’s character, Doug, is a dentist who is concerned that he has become too bland and boring. There isn’t much he can do to prevent this from happening. He’s a dentist, which puts a strike or two against him already. My uncle Bob is a dentist. No one in the family likes to sit next to him at family gatherings because all he does is complain about how depressing his life is. That and the discussion always ends up at anesthetics and pulling teeth. Makes me lose my appetite. Anyhow, Woody (John Travolta), the leader of the band of hearty brothers, is the big shot businessman who finds himself short on cash when his trophy wife divorces him. He convinces fellow merrymen Bobby (Martin Lawrence) and Dudley (William H. Macy), to postpone their jobs for a week and to join him and Doug on the road to escape the unbearable monotony of their lives in Cincinnati. That’s right. Cincinnati. America’s town. Well, southwestern Ohio’s town. What is their solution to this problem? Break out their rarely used motorbikes and go on a trek to California, of course. Although this beginning sets a potentially good idea for a comedy, the movie manages to take a turn south, and what ensued was one of the most pathetic spectacles of humor I’ve witnessed in a motion picture all year. The movie centralizes around one common theme: proving to the viewer that the four “bikers” are not homosexual. This cast of big-budget actors who are capable of much higher levels of humor decide to prove that they are heterosexual. No kidding. Almost the entire script consists of scenes where the actors are caught in situations where their sexual orientations are questioned, and as a result, tired jokes are attempted and fail miserably. The only other form of humor that was apparent in the movie were fart jokes, which of course are hilarious, but by no means do they make up for the weak tries at jokes during the remainder of the movie. Clearly, the producers and director dropped the ball. The film should have been called “Hetero Farts.” However the question remains: should you spend seven dollars to watch this film? The answer is absolutely. You know those movies that are so stupid, they’re funny? Look at “Snakes on a Plane.” Although “Snakes on a Plane” outdoes “Wild Hogs” in stupidity, these two movies are similar because they ultimately fail at achieving their goals, “Snakes on a Plane” with suspense and thrill and “Wild Hogs” with comedy. And both movies manage to be funny in their own special way. It’s fair to say that even acting greats like Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta need a mulligan once in a while.
