Hear ye hear ye, campuse is a-reeling after the passing of beloved student Louis Chivalry ’1201. The beloved Seniore from Chateau le Dooshice, France, is remembered by his female counterparts and emotional guys with guitars.
Chivalry died earlier this week when he succumbed to symptoms of hypothermia and irrelevancy. Chivalry fell ill when he gave his Patagonia to his maiden at the time, Dani California ’17, and then attempted the treacherous walk back from Abbot campus by foot. After ye fortnight in the infirmary, around two in the morrow a nurse emerged on the steps of Samuel Phillips and declared, “CHIVALRY IS DEAD!!!”
Chivalry leaves behind a noble legacy and will be missed by all on campus, especially by the female students. A red rose amongst thorns who was known for his courtesy and charm, Chivalry was involved with a slew of females across the Andover campus. One of the many, Bee Chee ’15 recently tweeted, “omg Chivalry was like perfect tbh he was kinda like a gr8 guy tbh smh :(.”
The grief in Anita Tenshion’s ’14 voice was palpable when asked about the death of Chivalry. “I remember one day we shared pumpkin spice lattes, and then he serenaded me with Train songs for, like, an hour,” she tearfully recounted. Thousands of tales of a similar nature have been shared all throughout the week.
Chivalry was a known proponent and voice of the dating culture at Andover. When revolution struck up against the ruling relationships on campus, Chivalry stood firm by his values. As masses of boys on campus donned cut-offs and apparently stylish socks with Sperrys, demanding commitment-free sandwiches, Chivalry maintained his black-tie optional approach on life and wore classy button-downs. Chivalry’s valiant efforts allowed the dating culture on campus to flourish.
However, now that Chivalry has passed, the future of relationships in the Andover kingdom looks ominous. Sources (gossipy Juniors) say that Chivalry’s public nemesis Daniel Dontcallback ’14 is the new self-proclaimed “ladies man” on campus.
Dontcallback recently instagrammed a picture of Chivalry when he attended the Junior-only USA dance during his first year at Andover. The caption read “#tbt to being lame #soft #faretheewell #likeforlike #nofilter.” It seems like Dontcallback is anxious to forget the standards set by Chivalry; whether or not the women on campus do remains to be seen.
