Dear Diary,? OMG I had the greatest Sadie night everrrrr. I went with Jason, that cute kid in my math class. I finally had the courage to ask him during lunch one day. He was sitting with all of his “bros” when I asked. He said “No,” but I think that’s, like, German for “absolutely,” and he just wanted to flaunt his linguistic skills. He’s so smart! I was thrilled; especially because I would be able to wear that gorgeous dress I picked out over the summer. It made the sales clerk grimace when she saw it, which meant that I HAD to have it. So anyway, Jason said yes and I jumped up and down and yelped for joy. All of his friends started laughing, probably because they were so happy for Jason.?? We had planned for him to pick me up at my dorm on the night of Sadie at 9:30. Right on time at 9:47, he arrived, breathing heavily. He sprinted all the way from his dorm just so he could see me sooner! What a sweetie! “I forgot to get you flowers, but I picked this up along the way,” he said, thrusting into my hand a kind of strange-looking plant. I didn’t mind though, because while all the other girls got typical boring roses, I got something different and special and beautiful. Just like the way Mommy describes me, except for the part where she emphasizes “special.” Not sure why she does that.?? When we got there, it turned out that we both had forgotten to buy tickets. He didn’t have any money on him, so I offered to pay. Except all I had in my wallet were pennies. So that took a little while, but it was fun counting with him!?? Then it was 10:58, and we were ready to start our night! I introduced Jason to my friends, who didn’t say anything but just kinda snickered a lot. I didn’t care. They’re all jealous beeyotches anyway. Jason and I moved to the dance floor right when the DJ put on “Everytime We Touch,” which is like totally my favorite song EVER!!! I started jumping up and down while howling the lyrics until I heard a deafening scream. I turned around and noticed that my 3-inch heel had landed right on his foot. It was really totally embarrassing, but it was okay because I learned right then that Jason is unafraid of showing his emotions. So unafraid that he didn’t seem to care that he was crying more than someone at an onion-chopping contest. You don’t find guys that sensitive these days, you know.?? But sadly, our night came to a close, and the lights came up after the last slow song. I didn’t dance with Jason because he had to be taken to the hospital to remove the heel from his foot. It was so sweet the way he waved to me as the paramedics put him on the stretcher, except he was waving with only one finger up. So I ended up walking back to my dorm alone, but I pretended that Jason was still there with me, even though he was probably being shot up with morphine at that point.?? Well, Diary, I gotta go. Isham called and told me that my ointment is ready for pick-up. Turns out that the plant Jason gave me was poison ivy. If I look closely enough, the rashes look like hearts! How romantic! And itchy! This must be what true love feels like.??
