About a week ago, I heard that the first school dance of the year, the Video Dance, had been cancelled. My first and strongest reaction was surprise, which was quickly followed by dismay. When I inquired about it, Mrs. Morrisey explained that the dance had been “postponed indefinitely.” Although my discontent was potent at first, it dissipated quickly as I began to seriously consider why the postponing had occurred. Last year, as an easily excited Junior, I was thrilled to learn that there was a dance on campus almost every weekend. Even more exciting was that the first one, the Video Dance, was supposedly one of the best of the year. As the eve of the dance approached, I frantically asked every girl about what to wear, when to arrive and how to act. Needless to say, I received many valuable tips. I learned, for example, not to hook up with anyone at the Video Dance—I would gain a reputation. At the same time, I had to look hot, wear revealing clothing and, most importantly, never act like a prude. I had fun at the dance, but in the days following I heard mixed opinions. Girls were unhappy that they had dressed and danced in accordance with the expectations of others instead of to have fun. I realized that I had bent to social pressures as well. Four days into classes, I did not know anything other than what I had heard repeatedly: the Video Dance is your opportunity to look sexy, attractive and likeable. The last adjective of the above statement bothers me the most. Much of the advice my friends and I had received equated likeability and social norms with physical attractiveness. The pressure to conform at the Video Dance and make an impression was undeniable, especially for new girls. Through a highly informative forum led by Feminism is Equality during the Spring Term last year, I heard more stories of Junior girls’ discomfort throughout preparing for and attending the dance. As a day student, I didn’t have influential upperclassmen directing me every step of the way like boarders did with prefects. I heard things through the grapevine, whereas gatherings dedicated to informing girls about social norms in dances were held in dorms across campus. Months later, as revealed in the forum, girls still felt the pressure to dress provocatively at dances, a pressure stemming from the Video Dance in September and reaching extensively and uncomfortably into each dance since. The Video Dance, however enjoyable it may have been, set the tone for the rest of the year. My less direct contact with peer pressure as a day student made it easier for me to avoid feeling pressured into dressing and behaving a certain way. By setting up standards for how girls should dress and act, we force them to behave in ways they may not want to, ways that do not reflect who they really are. Girls should not fear judgement if they want to wear sweats to a dance or hook up with someone. As a feminist and a female member of Andover’s student body, I aim to be confident and secure in my decisions and actions, but the overwhelming pressure to conform can hinder this. With Andover’s first weekend approaching, the first dance will have to wait, and, thankfully, so will the new students’ first dose of social expectations. Though I enjoyed the dance last year, I doubted many of my choices that night and justified my actions with a simple “but everyone else is doing it!” Now I see that the school’s decision to postpone the Video Dance was a good one, and, in my eyes, will be beneficial for the female student body. That being said, in my opinion the dance is a staple of Fall Term and should definitely be held at some point, just not so early in the year. Both new and returning students should have the chance to get more comfortable with the Andover environment and find their place before being thrust into an event as pressurized as the Video Dance. And most importantly, those of us who are not new to Andover should remove some of that pressure by encouraging new students to dress, dance and interact with others in a way that makes them comfortable, not in a way that conforms to this false idea of a social norm.
