This past Sunday, millions of eyes were glued to television screens for Super Bowl XLI. Not only does the Super Bowl help Americans learn their Roman numerals, the big game is a cultural staple for men and women of all ages. The Super Bowl assures that children are exposed to hilarious beer commercials right out of the womb. It is really no wonder that the Super Bowl annually dominates the Nielsen ratings as the event airs with little competition from other programming. Right? Wrong. For the first time in the history of life, the Super Bowl was up against a true adversary: The 2006 World’s Strongest Man Competition. Surprisingly, ESPN2: HD has announced that they would air a marathon of last year’s World’s Strongest Man Competition during CBS’s airing of the Super Bowl. The competition consists of representatives from all over the world fighting for the elusive title of “Biggest Big Man of All” by pulling planes and trucks across roads and lifting refrigerators on their backs. With the promise of bare skin drenched with sweat, there is no doubt that the collection reruns presented a formidable opponent to the reigning rating champion, the Super Bowl. The two supreme titans of sporting events were matched up against one another for the first time in a heated head-to-head Battle o’ Ratings. Local students found themselves stuck in the paradoxical dilemma of deciding which program to watch. “It [World’s Strongest Man Competition] has the world’s strongest men!” says an anonymous steroid enthusiast. “I like to watch the big muscles! Maybe I will get big muscles too, if I watch! I will be strong like the World’s Strongest Men!” However, others had their own, more legitimately articulated opinions on the matter. “I am truly appalled that the TV corporations make us choose between the two contests,” says one gridiron fanatic. “I’ve grown up watching football my whole life, but now this new thing just comes along and it’s becoming more attractive by the second. It almost reminds me of my ex-wife.” Since the announcement was made, the airing gained attention from NFL board members and players alike. “I told Momma to TiVo it,” said Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning, “I just don’t know how I managed to concentrate on the game while I was missing the WSMC. That’s why I had such a rough first half. I couldn’t stop thinking about those strong men.” Even NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell said the WSMC was “a real doozie!”
