Two freshman boys are hanging out it in Rockwell on a Saturday night. They are getting ready for the “First Chance Dance”. Tim: Hey man, you finish doing your hair? Eric: Yeah, I’ve just got a few strands on the left side that aren’t quite in place though. Tim: Stop hoggin’ the comb man! Eric: Fine, fine! Then pass me the blow-dryer. Tim: Hey should I legitly wear my dope JV cross country jacket? Eric: Yeah dude. Then chicks will know your athletic. Tim: Woah! Woah! Woah! I see you’ve got regular boxers on. That’s a rookie mistake. I’v got three pairs of compression shorts under these fly jeans. Eric: Wow man! That’s such a good idea, you’re like a genius or something! Tim: Yeah well I know from experience. I used to dance with chicks from my old school so much that I’ve become a pro at grinding with chicks! Full throttle! Eric: Yeah dude, totally. Your hair looks awesome by the way. Tim: Thanks man. Hey, lets get pumped up. Put on “I Gotta Feeling”, by the Black Eyed Peas. Eric: Yeah, and maybe we can steal some Red Bulls from my prefect and really get amped! Tubular! Tim: Ok, and remember what we practiced, the Dougie, the Jerk, and the Soulja Boy. Eric: Yeah, I think I’m ready. I studied the music videos for like a bajillion hours. Tim: Ok, now let’s go over hookup spots. Eric: It’s pretty nice out so I’m thinking the Great Lawn. Tim: Wait! But what if it rains? Always think ahead. Eric: Oh man I didn’t even think of that! Tim: Yeah, you idiot! What are you stupid?! HAHAHAH. Don’t worry though, I made a list of spots: Rockwell common room, GW couches and/or dark room. Eric: Wow thanks man, you’re totally saving my ass! Tim: Oh crap dude it’s 8:15, the dance starts at 8:30. We want to be at least ten minutes early so we don’t miss a minute of the DANCE! CHICKS!!! Eric: Ok hold on. My second coat bronzer is almost dry. Tim: Ok, I’ll go get the other 39 guys so we can all walk over together! Eric: I’ll meet you downstairs and don’t forget your pocket mouthwash. There is a moment of pure bliss as the two prepubescent boys feel totally awesome as they do the super cool secret handshake that they practiced all day. Now they embark on a magnificent journey filled with rejections, terrible dancing and standing in corners of the dance floor. -Colton Dempsey and Ricky Goldstein
