Dear Diary, Today was the day Bo-Bo moved in. After months of trying to locate a chimp, I finally found a guy in Texas who sells them, and the latest addition to my family arrived via USPS flat rate today (they really will ship anything that fits inside the box). Anyway, Bo-Bo is super friendly. We have a game where he pulls on my cheeks like a grandmother. I just know we’re going to have a lot of fun playing that game. Dear Diary, I knew today was going to be a bad day when I woke up. I mean, any day that starts with waking up with the wrong end of a grizzly bear in your face isn’t going to be a good day. Wait… is there a right end of a grizzly bear to wake up to? Anyway, after I pushed Grizzlebee out of my way I went to get out of bed and almost stepped on Sonic. The last time I stepped on him I spent all day picking spikes out of my big toe. The real bad news of the day was that the Chinese Government found out about Ling-Ling and wants me to return her, something about Pandas belonging to China. Dear Diary, Simba tried to eat Bambi again. I walked into the kitchen and found Simba holding Bambi in his mouth. Everyone uses the expression “cat with a canary”, but I think it should be “lion with my beloved fawn.” I could tell that Simba knew he was breaking the rules of the house. As soon as he saw me he knew he was getting a spanking. Side note: maybe its time to upgrade from rolled up newspaper to something a little heavier… Simba yawned during his spanking today. Dear Diary, Disaster! The divider in the pool between Smiley the shark and Mumble broke this morning and I think Smiley ate Mumble. This couldn’t have happened at a worse time! Mumble and I were so close to perfecting our tap-dancing routine. Dear Diary. I’m writing this before bed tonight. I just read the wolf triplets their bedtime story and now they are looking at me kind of funny. Maybe Call of The Wild wasn’t a great choice. Whatever, they’re probably just watching over me to make sure I’m safe; I mean they love me as much as I love them. What’s the worst that can happen?