Though we at The Eighth Page have seen many a Fall Carnival over the years, few have been as eventful as this one, despite being crammed into one corner of Flagstaff Courtyard.
This year, a duo came to the event with a vengeance. Last year, one of them, an Upper, had lost a race to a faculty kid three times in a row. The other was bested by the bull (ride) and had to miss classes for two weeks. We did try to warn him, though.
The dastardly duo stole half the inflatables, leading to only half of the Courtyard being covered, and making the other half look like everyone in favor of the DoorDash Policy. The bull ride was rigged to operate at either 100% or 1000% intensity, with no “sissy” option to be seen. One confident Senior stated, “This is genuinely worse than when a Junior got a better final score than me in Physics 552,” after falling within the first 3 seconds. Ironically, a Junior did indeed last longer than him, and they happen to be in the same math class. The Senior has reportedly stopped raising his hand. Juniors are scary, man.
As for the racing inflatable, a house counselor allegedly promised a student that she could order food to the dorm whenever she wanted, provided she won five races in a row. She lost to a faculty kid in round four. It was her house counselor’s. This was especially devastating because of her dorm’s location (Paul Revere) and the sheer distance she had to travel for any food.
As for the corn maze, they didn’t do anything to that, really. To this day, we don’t know why they rent it out every year. The duo thought long and hard about how to sabotage it, but they ended up realizing that there was nothing to really do.
The line for caricatures was too long for them to do anything regarding that. Legends say that some people are still waiting. As for the ice cream and cotton candy, they seem to have run out very quickly. The jury has yet to decide on whether it was intentional sabotage or simply what happens when you give Andover students anything other than Paresky Commons food.
The saboteurs have vanished into the sunset. Whether they got a GAP or fled the scene of the crime is unknown. The faculty kids begin their yearly training for the next Fall Carnival in order to continue their streak of humiliating literal high schoolers. Many students are still starving despite the free food. All things considered, it went better than anyone could have expected, especially since everyone has so many majors following the carnival.
