We all have our guilty pleasures, and if you know anything about me, stupid displays of romance are mine. I just finished watching Season 2 of “Temptation Island”, my absolute favorite reality TV show, and I can’t stop thinking about it. Basically an even more drama-filled “Love Island”, “Temptation Island” brings together four committed couples looking to test their loyalty and separates the men and women into two separate villas with 12 singles each. Even worse, every episode, the 4 girls and the 4 guys gather separately to watch clips of what their significant other has been doing in the villa. In other words, it’s Simran Shah’s personal heaven.
It’s easy to dismiss this as “trash” reality TV, but I was strangely reminded of our own Andover community. “Temptation Island” is different from other reality TV shows because instead of singles competing to form the best couple, relationships are put under extreme stressors, disguised as a tropical island getaway, and told to resist. The show isolates couples, removes their normal support systems, and surrounds them with strangers, leaving them entirely vulnerable. Andover does something similar, academically and socially. Students are constantly placed in environments that test priorities, whether it’s grades versus sleep, authenticity versus performance, or individuality versus conformity. At Andover, we are often unaware of how our environment shapes our unconscious decisions and throws off our routine, similarly to how the intense pressure, visibility, and temptation ultimately change the outcome of what had seemed like committed relationships on “Temptation Island”.
At both Andover and Temptation Island, people enter feeling confident, a facade that almost always shatters within the first few days. On Temptation Island, contestants enter as couples, looking at the show as a test. No one wants to believe they’ll fail or that they are not cut out for it, and they reassure each other of their commitment to each other before they are sent off separately with no contact. However, as soon as they enter the villas, their issues with their partner are amplified as they see all these singles as better fits for them, and see clips of their partner often taken out of context, among other things. Similarly, at Andover, we start here fresh off the high of feeling validated from being accepted. None of us are truly prepared for the imposter syndrome, the stress, and the isolation that boarding school brings. You’re deprived of your support systems, doing more mental, physical, or emotional work than you’ve probably done in your life, and surrounded by people who are better than you at what you previously were the best at doing. Andover students may arrive with clear academic and social priorities, but those often shift as soon as pressure builds and assignments pile up. Our “normal” changes as we are exposed to comparison culture, and we wish to take harder classes because it’s “normal” or join way too many clubs than we are able to support.
Another aspect of the show I found similar to our school culture is the post-decision justification that the contestants on “Temptation Island” often make, as well as how visibility affects their choices. After their initial confidence shatters, the contestants often cave into temptation. Post-decision justification is when contestants and students alike then turn to validating their decisions, claiming this was the reason they came on the show, and that they’ve learned about themselves from this experience, without actually taking any accountability. At Andover, we often justify taking on too many things, as the need to compete becomes the primary goal.
“Temptation Island” is one of those shows that I just felt stupid watching. Other people were probably doing homework, practicing a sport or an instrument, or working on their masterpiece. Meanwhile, I was binge-watching B-tier reality TV in my pajamas. However, I’ve realized I was doing some learning of my own. We often pick favorites between the contestants, sometimes based on their personality, but often due to the quality of their choices. Did they lie? Did they cheat? Did they stay true to what they said they would do initially? It’s very easy to judge those who made choices you think you would never make, until you realize that Andover’s environment is similar. I realized that I may have lost some of myself trying to keep up. It’s time for us all to stop judging our past choices and learn to adapt to this new world. Boarding schools are individual in the way they apply pressure on students, but each and every one of us is here because someone thought we belonged here, just as we were. It’s about time we start thinking we belong here, too.
