Whenever I open an app on social media, I am bombarded with content that seems to want to make my progress insufficient. From raging online cultures like “looksmaxxing” or the subtle encouragement of self-comparison, the modern world has a taste for capitalizing on feelings of personal inadequacy. The line between inspiration and insecurity has now become blurred, and self-growth is no longer internally driven but constantly held up against external standards that only seem to rise with time. Everyone online seems to have their lives figured out: waking up at 5 A.M. to go on a run and completing hours of work every day, the only way to “win the day” is to end it feeling exhausted. Improvement only becomes meaningful when it confirms that we were not enough to begin with.
While the underlying pressure of “self-improvement” has become prominent everywhere, it is in places like Andover where its burdens become exacerbated. The structure of this new culture mirrors that of a highly rigorous and competitive academic environment in that they both place emphasis on measurable performance and outcomes. Both create the illusion that growth and progress are goals to be completed, rather than something to be experienced. Andover students are rooted deeply into a culture of validation based on success, due to the high standards they are held to by others and the expectations they hold for themselves. It has become normalized to hold oneself accountable for not living up to these standards, which are sometimes unrealistic. This mentality is reflected on the way we formulate new habits we pick up online, and how we plan on following through with them. Often, our habits are derived from our desire to be better, more productive, and more disciplined in whatever we strive to be successful in. This constant pursuit of “more,” while effective in the short term, eventually takes its toll on us in the form of discontent and a perpetual sense of inadequacy. Each time we set our goals they seem to drift further away out of reach, because we begin with the assumption that our starting point is one of lack. True growth is not found through chasing validation and proving oneself, but from recognizing genuine progress: maintaining habits consistently, recovering from setbacks quickly, and appreciating small moments of growth that seemed insufficient before.
The relentless cycle of unrealistic ambitions also induces several emotional consequences, the first being a burnout masked as discipline. We often believe that taking a break from our pursuits is not a restorative strategy but rather a source of guilt. Formulating a self-improvement plan often traps us between two equally harmful choices: either to continue pushing ourselves through self-destructive practice to feel productive, or to step away and view ourselves as incapable and inadequate for choosing to quit. Choosing the former means that every decision we make must be justified and contributing towards our goals. The latter option evokes a sense of doubt in our ability to stay disciplined, and whether our aspirations were genuine. This insecurity has affected my personal growth the most, as my failure to meet my own expectations led me to believe that I simply was not dedicated enough, and my desperation was not authentic. I felt indolent for not living up to my ideal self, and this only pushed me to make resolutions even more impractical as a means to compensate for my past incompetencies. Sometimes, after finishing hours of homework and studying, I would open social media only to be met with videos upon videos of people telling me that I was not dedicated enough, and that I needed to sacrifice everything for my goals. Even moments where I should have been proud of my productivity felt meaningless, overshadowed by the reminder that someone else was always doing more.
As ambitious students, we tend to hold ourselves to unreasonably high standards in hopes that even a pursuit of them will lead to growth. While this is not entirely untrue, it is also important to recognize how this might affect our perception of ourselves. A difficult resolution, especially one that focuses on becoming “better,” assumes that the person we are now is not enough. This not only prevents unconditional self-worth, but also undermines previous growth.
Constantly striving to become “better” can prevent people from appreciating who they actually are. The belief that one will always have room for improvement disregards their prior efforts. When worded correctly, the culture of “maxxing” can be perceived as a forward-looking mindset, but in most cases it is an excuse to lower the stakes of previous resolutions that have failed. Treating self-improvement as a perpetual, urgent concept takes away from the strength that exists in gradual, consistent development. True growth builds on attainable goals as a cumulative effort. It is through this action that one can take the time to realize the progress they have made.
I hope that as a community, we strive for improvements that are not strenuous assignments but intentional journeys of growth. I hope we can recognize that improvement does not demand a rejection of self, but an acceptance of it. The most meaningful improvement we can make is the cultivation of a healthier mindset for ourselves; true growth lies in learning how to acknowledge progress, taking breaks without guilt, and appreciating oneself while making an effort to become even better.
