It started out as a simple rumor:
“Yo, have you heard about this hantavirus?”
“Yeah, ts is crazy.”
But the rumor kept spreading until the administration became worried.
The true turning point was when the Weekender’s “Ratatouille” movie screening was cancelled due to a “concern for student health.” It was an outrage! Students started freaking out over when they would be able to watch their favorite movie, Commons staff panicked over who would put out the nacho cheese that no one touches at the pasta bar, and Remy himself was sent spiraling.
The next day, however, the unbelievable happened.
From the Paul Revere basement, through a small crack in the wall, rats appeared. Hundreds of them trickled in, feasting on leftover crumbs littering the floor. And leading the whole pack was Remy; he had a tiny chef hat on, and a wooden spoon raised like a sword, ready to combat the haters and take over the commons menu. Remy’s stampede of rats stormed Commons all at once. Faculty kids were tossed up in waves, lifted by thousands of hungry rats trying to find their way to the kitchen. One rat even landed on the head of a freshman, grabbing her hair and trying to steer her toward the salad bar.
As Remy and his team rounded up all of the faculty kids and transformed Paresky into a Parisian fine-dining establishment, students had their first tastes of his ratatouille.
Though initially skeptical, many students described it as ‘life changing’, moments before developing severe nausea.
The once-joke hantavirus rumour had evolved into full campus paranoia. First, crisp dap-ups disappeared. Then, hacky sack circles widened. And finally, the Gelb birds stopped their chirping, signaling the start of a Black Plague. Less than a week later, the entire campus had been excused from classes. Dr. Kington offered a Head of School Day for the “sickly” children. Andover, Massachusetts was now facing a full hantavirus epidemic.
While students sang Kumbaya in the Flagstaff Courtyard in hopes of getting rid of this terrible epidemic, the rats seemed perfectly fine. Remy continued mass-producing ratatouille for the increasingly overcrowded Sykes population, and the smell of his beautifully crafted dish continued to waft around campus.
Finally, though, the hantavirus case was solved. A day student who returned home after feeling Sick, suddenly felt better. The moment she returned to campus and took a single bite of Remy’s signature dish, however, she immediately booked another appointment at Sykes.
