When people tell me, “You have an old soul,” I take it as a compliment. Raised by my grandparents, I’ve learned to embrace the beauty of age and the wisdom that comes not from books, but from experience. While other kids spent time in playgrounds playing cops and robbers or hide and seek, I helped Grandma carry groceries to our apartment. While my elementary school classmates held hands with their Moms and Dads back home, I piggybacked on Grandma, singing songs and reciting Korean poems. While other kids waited for their parents to come home from work, I worked with my grandparents on household chores, cooking rice, and adding small portions of kimchi into banchan plates. Belonging to spaces with older adults taught me what aging with grace and wisdom looks like.
On the other hand, with the birth of my little brother, with a 9-year age difference, I spent time in spaces with younger people, from my two brothers to their friends. They updated me on the newest slang, the gossip of their schools, and the newest crushes between their 7-year-old classmates. More importantly, interacting with younger people taught me to impart my piece of wisdom while learning from their fresh, untainted souls.
Coming into Andover, I hoped to find similar intergenerational spaces that I’ve found myself in most of my life. I learned the value of forming bonds across all ages, and was ready to interact with people of all ages from all around the world. However, though exploring CAMD clubs and different DEI-related initiatives opened me up to a new world of diverse people and cultures, I realized that not a lot of these spaces focused on intergenerational connections. Though some opportunities to interact with children exist, such as SHED and other community engagement programs, chances to engage with older members of our community are largely absent. Spending most of our time in a secluded boarding school community, students miss the opportunity to interact with people of all ages at this critical point of growth; our grandparents, siblings, and relatives are absent from our lives, and virtual interactions do not suffice to encourage meaningful conversations. It is time for Andover to establish spaces for intergenerational connections.
From the realization that many Andover students lack critical engagement with people of all ages, I founded a chapter of The Legacy Project last term on campus. Other members and I visited a local senior center in North Andover to learn about the stories of senior residents. Interacting with older adults and sharing reflections with other Andover volunteers reaffirmed my beliefs in the positive correlation between cross-age conversations and growth in maturity. On the first day, I learned to truly value relationships from a lady who shared her grief after her husband’s death. Another day, I learned to embrace my passions and start early, from the regret of a resident not exploring his talents in tennis early on. The Legacy Project is merely a representation of the broader potential of intergenerational connections to educate people of all ages. The report by Stanford Center on Longevity, “Intergenerational Relationships Can Transform Our Future,” states that “older adults, with their unique abilities and motivations, are increasingly positioned to help [younger people] profoundly.” Laura Carstensen, a professor at the center, explains that children now in grade school will live in societies with a large portion of older people. The aging nature of the world makes intergenerational relationships more important in educating both the older and younger generations to interact with each other in respectful, affirming manners.
Beyond the educational value, however, intergenerational connections are plain entertaining. During a volunteer session, I spoke to a resident who had an intense crush on a girl 50 years ago, and wrote a love poem with his friend to persuade her to break up with her stable boyfriend and spend time with them. He recited the poem perfectly and told us that she responded with a poem asking them to send letters in the future instead of writing poems. Different generations internalize diverging cultural and social norms, from the way we express love to the political climate of the time. Interacting with individuals who have very different way of viewing the world is entertaining, since we learn that people can value and enjoy life in so many different ways. Likewise, intergenerational spaces can provide much-needed comfort and joy to our community, especially when life feels hectic and mundane.
We have all felt too young and immature, and we will one day all grow to get older and reflect on life. Sharing parts of our lives with younger and older people helps us discover ourselves in their stories. Beyond the barrier of age, we all share struggles and victories, loving relationships and losses. It is time for Andover to open up spaces for these critical conversations, to connect people of all ages, and find that we are all human in our core.
