The deans from Andover and Exeter met on A/E, not to battle it out on the playing fields, but rather to discuss around the Harkness table. While neither side intended for this to happen, the conversation quickly devolved into an intellectual game of chicken. Having declared American football a “uniquely American post-colonialist exemplification of masculine violence” the deans sat down and blocked out their schedule for a full day of EBI, ignoring the inferior sporting events happening that day. After exchanging names, pronouns, and favorite WNBA team, they realized half the day was gone and that they had to get down to business. After another small icebreaker, a question was posed to the group on the impact of ecological neoimperialism in Burkina Faso. After the phrase “power structures” was used for the ninth time the stenographer, a freshmanperson who got lost on the way to bathroom passed out.
Unfortunately, the Andover deans were so engrossed in the activities that they missed the rally buses back to Andover. They tried to call an Uber, before remembering that they were in Nowhere, New Hampshire, and just resigned themselves to another two years of misery.
