Jim’s reinterpretation of Little Red Riding Hood has permanently altered how I view children’s literature and possibly humanity. While most students focused on the obvious moral about stranger danger, Jim interpreted and wrote a new ending to the classic story. Their essay proposed that the wolf and Red weren’t enemies at all, but co-conspirators working to reclaim inheritance money Grandma had secretly diverted to, as the student so eloquently phrased it, “a chain of entrepreneurial forest prostitutes.” The plot thickened when Grandma was revealed to be the story’s true villain-a manipulative matriarch whose psychological control over the family symbolized generational trauma and the corruption of power. It was not, I repeat not, the assigned essay question, but it moved me to actual tears. Never in my career have I witnessed a student turn a fairy tale into a Marxist psychological thriller with a side of tax fraud. Complete brilliance.
Tyler has been a delight to teach and occasionally capable of insight so sharp it could cut glass. Unfortunately, he also emits a smell that could melt glass. At first, I assumed it was a one-time problem, but by midterm, students began voluntarily entering class wearing masks again. I once brought in a therapy parrot borrowed from the local rehabilitation center, a retired narcotics detection bird named Selena. Selena was calm and affectionate with everyone… until Tyler walked in. At that moment, the parrot screeched derogatory words in Spanish and bolted out the open window, never to be seen again. I privately emailed Tyler politely asking if he had access to a shower at home. In one sentence, he responded with, “Why are you all up in my business?” and signed off with “6 7” followed by some hand gestures that don’t relate to the topic. Despite the smell, his work is well written, and I look forward to grading his next assignment from a safe and ventilated distance.
Carl submitted a love essay so passionate, so vividly descriptive, capturing all the different mood swings when in love. Upon closer inspection, some of the wording sounded familiar, and I noticed that significant portions were lifted verbatim from a video titled “The Art of Human Connection: A Private Tutorial. “I will refrain from elaborating on the blank and yellow source, but I will mention that plagiarism is never the answer; cite it next time.
