The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Grad Party Itinerary

Everyone knows what graduation entails, but what happens afterward?

8:00 p.m.: After fully smoking their cigars and bidding farewell to their parents, the seniors prepare to have a night.

8:30 p.m.: The function opens with a speech from Dr. Kington and Rev. G. This convocation is special, however, because Dr. Kington actually manages to smile at the students since they’re leaving.

9:00 p.m.: What a rager! Instead of being confined to Lower Left, the students mosh it up in Silent along with the folks at the library front desk.

12:00 a.m.: The students gather in Susie’s as Mr. Capano switches the lights off. 

12:10 a.m.: Now the party’s really getting started! Unmarked water bottles that should have been confiscated are making their way around (for students who forgot to hydrate beforehand).

12:30 a.m.: What is that outside the door? Is that the Dean squad? After four years of giving out restrictions, they’ve finally decided to try out having fun for themselves.